Hot And Cold Treatment From A Girl: Why It Happens

Woman Pushing Her Man Away

No one likes being involved with a woman who blows hot and cold for no apparent reason. One of the things we all naturally look for in relationships is stability.

Consistency on the part of our significant other is incredibly important. Going to bed with a woman who seems to love you and waking up to a “perfect stranger” can throw you for a loop and can leave you with feelings of insecurity, uncertainty, and general confusion.

You may be wondering why some girls seem warm and loving one minute and distant and aloof the next. Well, there are several possible answers to that question, and assuming you want to stay with your girlfriend, it’s worth familiarizing yourself with some of the reasons why you might experience hot and cold treatment from a girl.

Here are 4 possible reasons she’s hot one minute and cold the next…

She Wants Attention

Psychologists have long recognized this kind of behavior in children, and (sad as it may be) most of our childish behaviors are carried into our adult years, although they are sometimes veiled with some kind of thin rationale for the bad behavior. Children act out for a number of reasons: chief amongst them is a feeling of neglect.

If your girlfriend isn’t getting the kind of attention she expects or deserves from you, she may attempt to elicit a response by suddenly becoming unreachable or distant for no immediately apparent reason. If you suspect this is the case, a good way to resolve the problem is by talking to her directly about which needs she feels are going unmet in the relationship. You can cut out a lot of unnecessary game-playing with a direct conversation.

She Has Intimacy Problems

Some people have a problem opening up to others for fear of getting hurt. A common defensive mechanism among those with intimacy issues is to shut down emotionally and distance themselves from people whom they perceive as threats to their emotional well-being.

If your girlfriend thinks you may be in a position to hurt her, she may take steps to put some space between herself and you in order to lessen the potential for emotional trauma in the long run.

You’re Too Much

You may actually be the reason that you’re experiencing hot and cold treatment from a girl. Are you constantly texting your girlfriend, even when you know she’s in class or at work? Are you clingy, emotionally needy, possessive, or controlling?

These are questions that only you can answer honestly. But, if after some soul-searching, you discover you answer in the affirmative to one or more of the above questions, then your girlfriend may simply be instinctively (or consciously) running away from your excessive behavior.

Back off a bit. See if that changes things. If so, you’ll have identified the problem.

She’s Lost Interest

Maybe she’s done. This is a hard thing to face honestly, particularly if you’ve been with your girlfriend for a long period of time. But it is possible that her surprising hot and cold treatment is not a response to anything you’re doing or a result of personal trauma in her past. It may simply be that she’s through with the relationship, for whatever reason.

If you suspect this is the case, the best thing to do is deal with it head-on, and have an honest and (if possible) calm conversation about how the two of you are feeling. Although it’s only a slight consolation, you’ll no longer have to wonder.

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